Black or White, and the Infinite shades of Grey in between….

I have been in Bolivia for almost 4 months, and my stay here is just starting to take shape. Initially, true to Angelino form, I expected my process and lessons to take between 6 to 8 weeks, at the end of which I would be ready to go back to the City of Angels, evolved, empowered and ready to hit the hamster wheel again. I am grateful to say I was completely off course.

The main purpose of my trip to La Paz was to continue to grow my business Knitting Peace, however once I decided to stay, I was unsure of what to expect or plan for. As I recall that frame of thought, I can’t help but giggle. Planning on what to expect… how silly of me to think I had any control over what would emerge from this journey.

One of my biggest lessons has been to release the habit of thinking linearly. Having been raised by South Americans in North America, and learning at a very early age that all has a tendency to follow a certain logic of cause and effect; has resulted in living life linearly, meaning that if I do A, then B will come as a result, and C will manifest. The “if I do this, then I will obtain this” frame of thought and being, has resulted in an experience of life as either all or nothing, black or white, right or wrong, bad or good, abundant or poor, etc.

During these months of stillness and self observation I have delightfully experienced myself as non-linear, able to just be and to observe that in the none doing, none planning and none thinking linearly, more space is created for the infinite shades of grey to emerge, beyond the limitations of black and white linear thinking. From this space, it is amazing to observe and experience how everything serves our spiritual development, simultaneously and in perfect alignment, beyond all or nothing thinking or the division of time and space.

Caroline Myss (my partner on this voyage) reminds us that we as Hu-man beings are living in an exquisite period in time; we have entered a world in which we are moving from a time of reasoning in a linear and organized fashion (8 hours a day for work, 7 hours for sleep, 5 hours for family, etc) and shifting to being holographic, where things are happening simultaneously instead of linearly. “The journey for us is to cease seeing our commitments to our marriage partners, to our families, to our jobs as threats to our spiritual development, instead they are our assignments, they’re our companions, and they are exactly where they are supposed to be… Give your self a holographic blueprint to work from, all things simultaneous, everything serves everything, instead of all or nothing, instead of division of time and space, put it all together, begin to think holographically” ~ Caroline Myss, Anatomy of the Spirit.

It is from this space that I embrace my social enterprise Knitting Peace as my companion on this journey, which brings forward the perfect lessons for me to jump through, and motivates me to continue growing spiritually in service to bringing growth to the incarcerated women I work with. I have observed in these past few months that Knitting Peace is serving me as a mirror for where I am, and which limiting beliefs I have held and need to release. As I release and evolve, the result is creative flow and a deepening connection with my team of knitters. When I am still and not doing, Knitting Peace seems to run on autopilot, and the girls in synchrony become busy with other projects that assist them in supporting themselves. When I am closed off and seemingly disconnected, the girls reflect back to me my dis-ease through imbalances in our communication or experiences of distrust, all in service to spiritual growth and development.

  

If you would like to learn more about the work Knitting Peace does, and the beautiful products our team of incarcerated Bolivian women make, please visit our website www.knittingpeace.com. Your purchase directly helps these women and their children to lead lives which are sustainable, empowered and free to choose. 

Diving into the Mystery

On occasion I take a view of my past life within the corporate world, when life seemed to be comprised of a list of bills which needed to be paid, and I held an uninspiring adult job in order to accomplish this, under the illusion that I needed those bills and job to consider myself a functional, well balanced adult.

These days while continuing my Knitting Peace journey in Bolivia, I fill my day with investments of a more spiritual nature, and I am growing to realize that life as I knew it does not matter, what I fill my day with does not matter, what really matters is how I choose to be with myself and consequently others as I do whatever it is I am choosing to do. There is no right or wrong choice, but a way of being with each choice we make.

I have been inspired by the writings of Caroline Myss during this journey and her encouraging words to dive into the mystery and jump into the fear echo in my being, inspiring me to remain in the stillness of Bolivia, until I realize why I was guided to come here in the first place.

I am wandering through this land, picking up rejected pieces of myself left behind during my college years while being reminded of the perfection of it all, and am marveled at how ordinary miracles have become.  It really is as simple as “ask and you shall receive”, because no prayer goes unanswered, and every answer comes with its lesson, which is so much better than the response originally hoped for. Life is so rich, when we allow ourselves the joy of saying yes to our hearts and follow the unknown path, rediscovering what we already knew, and re-membering our true essence, which is so much more than bills, work, and busyness.

I am here today, learning and practicing being in the present moment, trusting that this is exactly where I need to be, or else I would not be here; while opening myself to receiving the infinite support the Universe has to offer, and sharing myself authentically with all. 

I am grateful for this journey, with all of its ups and down, colorful bright moments mixed in with hard spots, and valleys of space. I am in the City of Peace, which is surrounded geographically with exactly what my journey resembles, a vast range of high and low colorful hard mountains, and open space, reminding me once again of the perfection of it all. I am grateful, I am gratitude, I am.